I’m coping very well even without maid. Sometimes I wonder, do we really need a maid after all. But it would be nice to be able to go out with hubby, just the two of us once in a while. Before we send the maid back, we grabbed the opportunity to watch a movie. It’s nice cos it has been such a loong time. The last time we went out for a movie was when i was pregnant. Or was it even before that?? Hmm..that shows how long it has been. We watched Punisher…full of violence..yet, I still watched thru my fingers. Aahh…now I remember the last movie we watched, it was Harry Potter, the last of the sequel. And guess what, hubby slept halfway thru! So now, I follow his choice of movies, instead of mine. I can always wait till my Broinlaw buy the DVD and then borrow it from him whenever there is a movie that I wanna watch. Nevertheless, life is hectic now since my baby is so manjaaa that he wants to be with me ALL THE TIME!!! Nak didukung je 24 jam…letak kejap pun dah nangis mcm kena pukul. But I guess that is common single-child-syndrome. So, masa solat mmg dia dok nangis je dlm playpen which is placed just beside me. When I stand up, he’ll cry standing up, and when I sit down and sujud, he’ll also sit down…still crying at my ear.. Nak gelak pun ade. Sudahnya, tak khusyuk solat. Luqman…Luqman…nape lah manja sangat. Nasib baik comel…

The 6th of March is coming, and I don’t think I’ll submit my application. I mean, I don’t think I’m ready to make that kind of commitment. Mentally, especially. Oh come on, I don’t even know what field I’m gonna take. That means, I still don’t know my passion and I don’t wanna end up doing something I don’t like, cos I know I’m not gonna do well in it. So, maybe I’ll end being normal people, no master, no PhD whatsoever… Hubby and I discussed about this. He’s not against me furthering my studies, but he has decided not to further his. Considering the pros and cons, furthering his studies is such a big decision, and tough too.Imagine 4 years down the drain if suddenly he fails. I know he won’t, but will I be supportive enough for him..

Nway, on a different note..a friend of mine introduced me to the websites of secondhand bargains. And they’re such GREAT bargains!! U can get branded baby and children stuff at affordable prices. Not that we can’t afford the actual price, but to waste ur money for something used for a few months? I say better we use it for something else. Plus, we are such suckers for cheap and branded stuff…hahaha!! Cheapskates!! I’ve got my eyes on some strollers but I’ve yet to order, but I gotta hurry b4 others get it first. The brands are Aprica, Combi and even McLaren only at rm2++. It is such a pity that I don’t know about this sooner…

Gotta continue working…don’t know when my Dr. boss gonna pop in again. He already did this morning and start posting me a few PhD-like questions, those that require deep thots and some analytical thinking b4 u start attempting to answer. Altho u think the question is quite straight forward, he would start looking at it from a different view that u don’t even think is relevant or reflect the first question…Argghh…I can’t let my mind be as complex..or I’ll go crazy… And that’s why I can’t do Master nor PhD..yet. It will be a torture to my simplistic mind…

i’m confused. I dunno what i want, obviously. If u ask me, what i want is just to further my studies but i need to identify my niche first. My engineering background (if i can still remember any) is of  no or little significance in my job now. Cos i do lotsa management and economic planning. For someone with no management background whatsoever, i should consider MBA.

Then, there is the issue of where i’m gonna do it. Considering i’m gonna do it full time, i would wanna stay at home. There is no point of travelling to kl just to attend classes. But, deep down i want to transfer to kl so much. Back to the hustle and bustle of a big city. Live outside our comfort zone. But i’m not sure if hubby would agree. Actually, i’m quite sure he won’t agree. So, i need to find a good place that offers MBA somewhere in Perak, or nearest would be Penang. But i would prefer kl rather than penang, and the distance is about the same.

I had a discussion with my boss aka advisor. He suggested marketing since not many people in public sector have done it. Plus i could focus on entrepreneurship which is more or less applicable to what i’m doing now. Nway, he passed to me some thesis examples for me to study and make up my mind…quickly since i need to submit my proposal by 6th of march.

I’m due for promotion next month. Actually it came rather too soon and i can’t say i’m ready. But i’m all in for the challenge. My life is already fast-paced in the office and this promotion would add loads to my work. As spiderman said, great power comes with grear responsibility. In my case, money comes with responsibility. Who would pay u to just sit around in the office. Of course u are expected to deliver as much as u get.. To me, it’s not so much KPI nowadays but it’s the impact that is more important. U can work ur a** off to achieve the KPI, but if ur KPI only benefits u and no one else, then it is no use.

There are a few vacancies at the moment but only one in Ipoh which is exactly in my office but another sector. My subordinate would be my own friends and eventhough they’re my junior, they are here longer than i am. Personally, i think that this post should be filled with someone more senior, with more experienced preferably with economic background. But if i don’t choose this post, i would be sent to the district no doubt, and the job would be more ‘carca merba’ then the one we’re stuck with here.

Life is about making decisions. Sometimes we can decide, but in most cases it is already decided for u…

We’re going for a retreat in a place somewhere near Taiping Lake. So i’m gonna leave Luqman in hubby’s care for 2 nites. I hope they’ll manage without me. I’m sure hubby will…errmm..in his own way…
We’re gonna have some outdoor activities like morning walk…as long as it doesn’t mean jungle trekking, then i’ll be fine. Cos panting and sweating is the last thing i wanna do…hehehe..

still in the office…hahaha…what else is new. Sudah2lah tu boss…sambung besok pulak.

time is 11.21pm and all of us are still in the office. it’s only one week into the new year and yet we are already working hard.

welcome to 2009! a year of brain-drain, hard work and staying back late.