i dun know how to describe what i feel. this visit is like taking a peep into his life. this is him at home where his life with his mother has already been established. and it actually scares me. i really dun know whether i’ll be able to adapt to his life. and the point is, do i have to adapt? do i really have to follow their established routines, or can i set my own? but i tell myself to take things slowly. i dun want to be worried over trivial things. i have yet to discuss these things with him. but i dun know what to tell him in the first place. darling, i dun like to adjust my life to follow ur routine…or darling, can we reset ur life? but marriage is all about tolerance, giving and taking. one party might always be at the receiving end, while the other always end up giving. so why should i make such a big fuss about it even if i always end up giving?

last nite during a conversation, i accidentally called his mother Ma, when i usually call her Makcik. i was so embarassed! but nobody took notice, or maybe they pretended like they didn’t hear it. whatever…but i hope i won’t have the tongue slip again!!